


The Legal Countdown

by triplexpoint



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Crack, Ensemble Cast, Facebook, Gen, Shout-outs, Social Media, Tumblr, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 17:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triplexpoint/pseuds/triplexpoint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The legal countdown that we must never speak of lest we wish to incur the wrath of Hercules Hansen, PPDC Ranger and father of the Countdown Subject.</p><p>(Please note that Ranger Hercules Hansen's actions are fully approved and supported by Marshall Stacker Pentecost And His Clipboard.)</p><p>or: there is a worldwide countdown to the dates that Chuck Hansen becomes legal in various countries. Herc is Not Pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Legal Countdown

**Author's Note:**

> Dear OP and all the other fabulous anons in [this thread](http://pacificrimkink.livejournal.com/1613.html?thread=1671245#t1671245),  
> I went to that youtube link. Since then, I haven't been able to get The Final Countdown out of my head. It has been _forty eight hours_. This is my revenge and I have No Idea where it's going. Have fun spotting all the media and/or fandom shoutouts. I hope you like this!
> 
> (please give me countdown ideas, I'm begging you)

 

At this point, no one knows who started it. All anyone knows is this: milliseconds after Chuck Hansen first successfully copiloted a Jaeger in combat, the media exploded. Then, it focused on him like a laser on speed. Everyone and their grandmother had an opinion about the Chuck Hansen Dilemma™. He's too young - what, we're letting children pilot Jaegers now? have we no shame? - shut up, it's the apocalypse, if Hansen can pilot it, let him - his father's making him into a child soldier - this is a violation of children's rights! alert the UN! - please, his father's probably fit to burst with pride - talk about having no childhood - shut up, do any of our children have any sort of childhood these days - look, he's proven himself, he's a hero, let him do what he wants - he's too young to know what he wants! - he's talented, why should we hold him back because of his age? - a father-son Jaeger team, how heartwarming! - one day they'll make a movie about him, right? - skd;fdjk chuck hansen ahhhhhh.

That last reaction was actually one of the less popular reactions. That was good because it showed that in apocalyptic times, Earthlings had their priorities right. Except for the part where no one counted on the dark horse known as The Internet.

People rewatched whatever footage of Chuck's First Kaiju Battle they could get their grubby hands on. Some clowns trawled through the Jaeger Program's extensive archive and found several photos with Chuck in the background, clinging to his father's arm or playing with other children. They unearthed a photo of Chuck petting a bulldog. Entertainment rags printed those photos. Someone set up a Chuck Hansen fanpage. Duplicates burst up on Facebook like mushrooms after rain. #chuckhansen trended (and still trends) on Twitter for hours at a time, much to the annoyance of Beliebers and their ilk. Actual respectable news outlets ran feature articles on the phenomenon. On Tumblr, it was and is a pandemic. Even diehard Chuck fans were becoming sick of seeing the same few photos and gifs (cropped and edited to the moon and back) on their dash dozens of times. You either Tumblr Saviored Chuck Hansen or you didn't. Problem is, if you did, you might miss out on actual Kaiju War news. Oh wait - did people ever use Tumblr for that? Okay fine, some people did. But percentage-wise, it was always a low number, capiche?

The PPDC took all this in stride - its experienced PR team released soundbites and statements from various parties, including one from Chuck Hansen himself. No one coud deny Chuck's earnestness when he said he grew up wanting to become the best Jaeger pilot possible and that from day one, his father supported his ambition.

As he said this, Herc Hansen, Chuck's father, appeared on the screen and placed an arm around Chuck's shoulders. He stared down the camera and reminded the world, in no uncertain terms, that Chuck Hansen graduated from the Jaeger Academy. The very same Jaeger Academy that people dropped out of like barnacles in freshwater. Herc told the world that it's an honor to be drift-compatible with his son and announced that it's a privilege to have Chuck as his colleague.

They even took the time to give the world a quick father-and-son hug. Awwww.

The PPDC released a video of Chuck and Herc sparring in the Combat Room. Herc clearly had the upper hand but Chuck did a good job of defending himself. Everyone saw this as good news because it meant that Chuck would grow up to become Just Like His Father. Strong and badass, defending the Australian coastline and kicking Kaiju ass.

So, you know, it was all good. Except for Chuck, who frequently wondered whether he was stuck in a dream within a dream because although nothing about this planet-wide madness made sense, it all seemed so _real_. Chuck had no idea how the gentle beginnings of his first interview with a news outlet, just after he climbed out of Striker Eureka's conn pod, had swirled into a raging worldwide hurricane with him at its center. People told him to take it in stride and focus on being a Ranger, so he did. He was far too busy to google himself, anyway.

Until news of the fanigirling and fanboying reached his father's ears.

Was Herc living under a rock or something? Surely no one could be that oblivious.

Well, there were legitimate reasons. Several reasons, in fact. Herc Hansen's a busy man. As one of the most experienced Jaeger pilots, he frequently discussed top-secret Jaeger developments with various heads of departments. When he wasn't doing that, he was learning new combat techniques and keeping himself fit. He spent whatever time he had left trying to raise his firecracker of a son and teaching him to keep their bulldog, Max, in line.

Anyway. One day in the mess hall, Herc overheard a conversation about "magazine covers plastered with Chuck's best pics and blurbs about Chuck's good looks."

Initially, Herc was confused. His tablemates told him that Chuck has a worldwide fanbase. Alright. Fanbases around Chuck, Herc could understand. Chuck's a talented kid and Herc couldn't be prouder. But why would people care about Chuck's looks?

To say that Herc Hansen threw a hissy fit when he found out Why People Care was a gross understatement. He demanded to know, in great detail, where all those perpetrators of drivel lived and shouted that Chuck's a Jaeger Pilot, not some pin-up, and Chuck'll remain a Jaeger Pilot, thank you very much,

Someone piped up that the Becket brothers are both Jaeger Pilots and pin-ups.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that said person was _not_ in possession of any self-preservation skills whatsoever and must be in want of a good yelling. The reason? People might or might not have needed to calm Herc down and remind him that he really didn't want to lose his voice because he had an important teleconference with various heads of state in less than 12 hours. Eyewitnesses elaborated that later, in lieu of yelling, Herc might or might not have developed a giant throbbing vein.

(The general consensus was that such giant throbbing veins only exist in animated films. The implications, though, were widely accepted.)

Chuck, who'd been watching his father's outburst from two tables over and wondering whether someone had taken him down _another_ level in dreaming, frowned. Something was dawning on him. The Becket brothers...

"They're over eighteen."

Everyone turned to look at him. Time slowed down. The very air charged up with manic electricity. Silence reigned over the hundreds of people in the mess hall. Once again, Chuck spoke. To everyone, it seemed as though his voice was coming from far far away. Perhaps it was because they were trapped so far within their own heads as they lay down in the Great River of Denial and imitated those poor sods who hoped that Kaijus would just Go Away.

"I'm fifteen. Is this even legal?"


End file.
